美国名校的自白(恶搞版)下辑

2015.12.09

我大“忙day”(Monday)终于过去了!继续上次的美国名校自白系列,大家咧着嘴迎接新的一天吧!一起来看看这次又有哪些名校的独白呢——

The United States Military Academy

1

It’s free

上学不差钱

 

Dartmouth

2

It’s harder than heck to get in here because we are uh…IVY..But once you are here, you can major in art, throw snowballs for 6 months, ride on sleds, and only have to take three bogus classes. Then when you graduate, all you have to do is say, ” I went to Dartmouth” and people will hire you because…uh… it’s the IVY league.

进我们学校比见鬼还难,因为,呃,我们是常春藤嘛,你懂的。但一旦进来了,你可以修个艺术专业,扔扔雪球打打雪仗6个月就没了,再玩玩雪橇、只要上上三两个有的没的的课程就行了。没错,这就毕业了。之后你只要说一声“我达特茅斯毕业的”就有人雇你啦,因为,呃,我们是常春藤啊!

 

Columbia

3

Did I mention? We only accept 10% of our applicants so if you get denied, MOVE ON! Maybe NYU will take you. That’s where most of our rejects attend.

我没告诉你我们的录取率只有10%吗?所以要是被拒了也别气馁,振作啊!也许纽约大学会收你呢!大部分被我们拒掉的人都去那儿了。

 

UCLA

4

We’re just as good as Berkeley… Yeah, that’s the ticket.

我们和伯克利一样好…嗯,是的,就是这样。

 

Duke

5

Lots of our students rejected Harvard, Yale,Princeton, and other Ivies to come here. Some of us rejected every single Ivy ever plus all the top publics and also every university in the USNWR top 50.

我们的很多学生都是拒绝了哈佛、耶鲁、普林斯顿和其他常春藤名校来我们这儿的。我们还有把常春藤和全美排名前50的大学一一拒绝了之后来了这里的呢!